meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The Olympian is in my bed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
