In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
