Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
