just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
