I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This baby is an asshole
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
