In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
