i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
