It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
