There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i dont even know how to be here
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
