his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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