please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
