Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
