he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
