Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
