We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Everything about him screamed your future.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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