i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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