He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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