How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you would pick up someone in the library
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize