Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
