the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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