called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
