Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
