as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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