ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
