Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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