I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize