Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
