listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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