so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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