I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
