That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
