I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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