Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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