she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
