I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
