Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
