I seem to have left my pride at pride
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize