dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
