all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
