she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
