Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
