I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have post one night stand depression
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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