Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
