I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize