It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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