Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize