I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
