If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
