Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
