i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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