do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
