I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
