he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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