u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
