Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
