If i come over, it means nothing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
