For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
