She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Four minutes until I can fart!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
