if you like me you must not know who I am
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
