You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
