I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
