Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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