when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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