i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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