I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
