I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
