I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize